Well it's that day, or perhaps the day after; another Valentines Day has come and gone and I'm still single and could really care less.
Okay, in honesty, maybe it's just that I'm bitter that such an arbitrary holiday even exists. Yeah that's probably it. I mean come on, lets think about this, why does a holiday celebrating a benign human emotion even exist. It's an excuse to indulge in red, heart-shaped paraphernalia and ultimately, it's purely an excuse for the gutless and spineless to grow a pair of balls once a year and do something.
Granted, I'm single, I was yesterday, I was the day before yesterday and I am today. To be honest with you though, I'm quite okay with that. I don't need to wait till February 14th to change that; I can do that any day I want to its just a matter of personal preference.
Perhaps the worst thing about V-day is going to school and seeing all the girls getting flowers from Mr. who-the-fuck-cares, and seeing all the guys at the store scratching their heads like dumb apes trying to figure out what to buy who Ms. bitchy-shit. Why are they doing it Monday? Why do they need a reason? Why not do it on Thursday because you felt like buying flowers for someone you sincerely cared about, or taking someone to dinner on any given Saturday because you felt like it was a nice thing to do? Grow a pair of balls and ask someone on a date for no real reason aside from the fact you felt like it would be nice and fun.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that there probably are very few things worse then Valentines Day in Utah. The fact that relationshits and marriage are forced on us on a daily basis isn't bad enough, no we have to have a day where it's not just forced, it't expected. For example I opened the school paper yesterday to see if there was anything worth reading (which there never is btw) only to see sixteen articles and advertisements for Valentines Day. Sixteen! Cresus Jhist! One is too many. To be honest I don't really give a rats ass about 'Seven Dates in Seven Days" or online dating or the fact that "Some students have better grades after they're married" I don't care about any of those things 364 days out of the year and I certainly don't care about they on certain day of the year.
Maybe it doesn't help that Ryan+relationships in Utah=nill. That just coincides with the fact that I don't care too much for Utah girls. It's so clickie here. Everyone meets all their friends/relationship potentials in church and go from there. We'll here's some news for you. I'm not Mormon and I don't go to church which means I am not going to meet people like that. Girl's here are weird, thats just a fact, I can't even have a normals college-aged conversation with anyone here. It's gotta be all clean and PG-13: yawn. It's so bad that the second I find out someone isn't from Utah I am instantly interested.
Kinda along the same lines, Brandon and myself have been planning kinda a group date thing for this Saturday which I was completely thrilled about in almost every aspect, the exception being finding someone to go with.I had to flip through my contacts, my Facebook friends, my brain and I came up with, about 4 possibilities, and even all of those fell through. What gives? Okay, I may not be the hottest, most athletic, funniest guy around but I know I'm not the guy people would want to avoid for a date. It's just the Logan really sucks that much.
I mean in all honesty, I'm only a human and a young-adult (barely), male. It's in my programming to desire the company of someone of the opposite gender. Basically, I miss loving someone, I never thought I would say that out loud on a public forum but to be honest, it's a great feeling; being cared for by someone other then family, and thinking about someone all that fun stuff. I think that's really my only regret about coming here to Utah. Any other time I've been in, as Brandon would call it "Not Utah", I've been far more content in my social endeavors, but now that I'm here, man does this place suck or what?
So basically what I'm getting at here is Valentines Day sucks, Logan sucks; the two combined: living hell for a guy like me who isn't Mormon and isn't disillusioned by stupid arbitrary feelings and holidays. If theres a girl out there in Logan who isn't any of these things call me; in the meantime, I'll be studying and doing something useful in my life.